Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Pyaar Ke Side Effects

Today I thought of looping the article "50 reasons  not to Marry a Bengali Woman" as a ending for the final installment as Bong culture.But I was surprised after going through the entire article in detail.It seems the article has been published just as a  formality against "50 reasons  not to Marry a Bengali Man".

If you want you can read it all here.

Coming back to the main article,the author(who is also a bengali lady-POULOMI BANERJEE AND MALINI BANERJEE)describes "Only in her case, making up the 50 is a bit of a tough job!" and also the first point suggested "And yet, despite it all, she is just too good for you. Sorry men".The first point has been briliantly put at the bottom of the list which actually starts from 50.

As I was reading I felt as if I have been drawn into a Feminist War where females are always been opressed by men and are subjected to social and physical harm.The best part of the story is that we men have been potrayed as typcial bengali jonjal and the fairer sex has been potrayed as the bond that holds us together to enter complete chaos.

Actually I do agree this particular agreement because I feel that a woman plays a very vital role in the family.No wonder she is potrayed as Ma Saraswati,Ma Lakhi and of course Maa Kali.We all have shared a few instances of all the incarnations at some point of time in our life.

So instead of sharing the Top 50 stuff here is a different prespective of love.The material has been consolidated from my personal experience and observation.

True Love and their side effects

But truelly speaking I feel both of them need each other and are incomplete being just alone.My idea of love and relation had been idealized by movies like Basanta Bilap,Hum Tum and of course Dil  Chata Hai.These movies actually had shown me how and why Bengali men  are ofen reluctant to show their affection.On the other side Bengali Women are more aggresive now  a days yet somehow they too expect to hear the magical three word scentence from men.And then comes the most heroic act one man can ever perform.

Proposing to a lady in Bengali culture had been driven by Literature and the cultural essence.That is why Saraswati Pujo is considered Bengali Valentine Day.A day which is chosen by millions of bengali to propose.So here is a summary of the events which are normally followed for a proposal(from a Man's Prespective)..

Step 1:Get a good bath and clean shave.Apply Deodrant.The love lady might just run away if she can sense the holy smell.

Step 2:You may choose to kneel down but that has a possibility of getting backfired.Instead just fix up a meeting with her in the presense of her and your friends.Just in case if either of the party gets a little nervous.3rd party is a must.

Step 3:Chew up some poetry or some romantic quotes.I know you have it in you but I have seen negetive side effects of expressing your own style.

Step 4:Now strangely enough if she has actually come..that means she has already said yes even before you propose.Of course she can also meet you with her friend whom you had misinterpreted to be  another charming lady but turns out to be a huge muscular hunk.

Step 5:So far so good.If you are not left with a dark eye then you have already conquered half of the battle.Rest is all drama.She might actually ask you questions,much like interview questions which can start from :

  • How much do you love me?
  • What will you do if I leave you?
  • Does your mother knows about it?
  • What if my dad comes to know about it.
The questions may vary depending on the situation.

Finally she will ask you about your past.Be frank but dont be a open history book.The bengali lady expects you to be honest,but if you become too honest she might actually keep them for use in later quarrels.

And lastly she says yes.Actually she even might say no but in that case you have to followup with phone,email,sms to get the yes.Also be prepared to hear out no and a list of reasons why she says no.(Mostly depends on how good you were at the interview)

 Job Confirmed

Wow you are in love.Enjoy the first year as much as possible because this is like the honeymoon period.The next year is mostly a book keeping job.Here is a list of things to do to ..

  • Remember every single detail about your meeting.If possible write and oh the dates and what she was wearing what you ate and where did you go.In emergency always look into her eyes and say "I love you".
  • When ever into a quarrel be ready to put down your arms as soon as possible.Because ultimately they have a nuclear weapon that can end the war instantly.Tears.When tears drops from her cheek,there is simply no counter to that.Its a tragedy that men cant apply that to their advantage.
  • She wants you to be romantic even when you are hungry.
  • They simply dont understand that drinking simply doesnt mean being Matal as potrayed in bengali commercial movies.
  • No matter how correct you are.You are always proved wrong.
The Real Truth

To summarize life doesnt really turns out as dreamt a year ago.But to really think about it,actually its a lot better.Now you have someone to share your thoughts.Someone to share the pain and joy.Truelly someone to call at the middle of the night and say "I love you and I miss you".

Its really a different feeling."Jab uske aankh se aaso nikal te hai to yahan dard kyu hota hai",quoting Karan from Hum tum reveals a very sweet pain we all share towards the other kind.It cant really be described by words alone and I know everyone of you have felt it at some point of time in your life.

Shaadi ke Side Effects

Since I am not married I really cant tell what is the real side effect.However going by the numerous jokes about Husband-wife I take it to be very umm...Interesting.....So I will be eagerly waiting for that phase of life..however if you feel that you need to add something up..feel free to add in the comments.

Signing Off
Santanu Ghosal

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